Thursday, June 22, 2017

Pondering

Our Front Porch with companions
   Hot weather is the time to sit on the porch with a fan in one hand and a glass of sweet tea in the other to think deep thoughts. It will drive your neighbors to distraction wondering why you have a contented smile on your face.
   We've culled our notes, files, and the Internet to offer a few suggestions that demand excessive hot air for serious consideration.
   Ever wonder if all the world is a stage where is the audience sitting?
  Have you asked yourself why glue doesn't stick to in inside of a bottle before it is opened?
   Why is it the folks on the evening news begin with "Good Evening" then spend fifteen to thirty minutes telling us why it isn't?
   Search the house for a lost item. You find it. Then a smart chimes, "It's always in the last place you look." Why would anyone go on looking after it's found?
   Can you cry underwater?
   Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
   How often have you heard someone say, "It's out-of-whack?" What in the heck is whack?
   Has a scientist ever calculated the speed of dark?
  Why do folks believe you when you point out there are over four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
   How is it that we were able to put a man on the moon before someone thought to put wheels on luggage?
   Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs.
   Is there a day in the United States when mattresses are not on sale?
  Why do toasters have settings that burn bread beyond recognition?

  What happened when "I have no idea" became a statement of fact?
   Why do we try to keep the house as warm in the winter as it is in the summer when we complain about the heat?
   Why is it when talking you must "put in your two cents" yet you only get "a penny for your thoughts?"
   Our glasses are hitting rock bottom. We've collected a crowd at the bottom of the drive wondering why we're laughing on such a hot afternoon.
   We wave and go inside for a refill to watch the evening news.

Nash Black, author of the forth coming detective novel, Forged Blade.


4 comments:

  1. Why are there so many kinds of insects?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My guess is nature provides for her own. Insects eat other insects. Birds and animals eat more insects. Reptiles, amphibians, fish, mammals, even humans up the entire food chain.
      When you're on the bottom of the totem pole there's got to be more of you to survive.
      Will rerun your piece on chiggers next week.

      Delete
  2. Love it. My neighbors would be wondering what I was up to with paper and pen smiling on the front porch. Maybe another mystery in the works. Yap. And my two cents worth wouldn't pay the taxes on my slice of pizza. Have a good one Irene and Ford.

    ReplyDelete